The young Wycliffe Bernard Tippins tumbled from a musty old Dickens novel when his page was torn out and eaten by an enchanted goat. Blearily he fled in abysmal, spasmolytic trance… and found himself on a Devon beach where he made his home under an umbrella subsisting on scavenged cream tea remains till he was found by kind parents who adopted him. As gradually he was weaned on society, his elocution lessons were increasingly disturbed by shamanistic judders. Dreadful pan-dimensional spawn became manifest in his figures of speech, and he thought himself quite mad. But no! Soon he realised his true purpose as intermediary between the land of human beings and the transcendental realms; also to make strange and pretty things for good old filthy cash.

A bastard re-imagining of the Great English Eccentric, Wycliffe wonders alone among friends, tormented by fevered imaginings. He needs to do interesting things. Maybe you can help him. He hands you the key to his sanity and well-being, to protect Mankind and to save the entire Universe!